Time for Another

the diary of our quest for baby number 2

Good news but feeling blue Tuesday 15 July 2008

Filed under: 2nd child,39wks,blue,bump,down,false alarms,pregnant,selling house,sleeping,tired,toddler — timeforanother @ 11:00 am

We accepted a cash offer on the flat yesterday – a bit lower than we really wanted but DH has got the fear about it all and just wants it to go through quickly and painlessly, which a cash sale will almost guarantee. I feel fairly ambivalent about it – wishing I had the energy to play a bit more hardball with it. The offer did come a lot quicker than we imagined, it’s not been on the market a week yet! Still, she’s got herself a beautiful flat for a bargain price, and we get to clear our debts and find a rented house to move into for phase 2 of family life.

Talking of which, still nothing going on with Wriggler. I’m starting to believe I’m going to be pregnant forever, or at least he’ll hold on til the last possible minute (which is 3 wks today). Getting really fed up now – my back is really playing up which makes moving around incredibly painful and awkward – more so than normal. My hands and feet are constantly swollen and tight; sleeping is a nightmare, what with needing to pee every few minutes, raging heartburn and of course, the incredibly annoying tummy pains which seem exciting then just fade to nothing… It doesn’t help matters that a lot of my Due in July Bounty buddies are dropping babies left, right and centre. I feel ready to meet my little boy now (and if he stays much longer, my skin is going to literally come apart)

So the blues are here today. I should be feeling happy about the sale but can’t muster any real enthusiasm – there is a pile of paperwork to complete and numerous phone calls to make which I just can’t face. Baby is sitting tight and I really want to focus on him and get on with labouring, but I seem to be stuck between the two things and neither is going to move along without some input from me. Poor old DH is trying to get a ton of work sorted in case he gets ‘the call’ from me so he is less inclined to do house sale stuff and it seems unfair of me to ask him to quite frankly – I’m just sitting around at home waiting (and looking after our dd). Today, I will drop into the managing agents office and try to get some answers from them about house stuff, fetch dd from nursery, eat lunch with dd, then whilst she naps, I’ll order some shopping online.

And try to feel cheerful!

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30wks tomorrow Monday 12 May 2008

Another milestone about to be reached. Although 8-10wks to go still sounds like a long wait. We must start practicing the Hypnobirthing techniques, particularly as the course was so brilliant this time around. I’ve organised a basic hospital bag (something I didn’t do last time), know which birthing pool to order, have got the carrycot bit for our Xplory, washed all clothes and sheets and all we have to do now is find a name for the Wriggler. We hope that seing him a bit more clearly at the 4D scan on Friday will help a little, although he usually behaves very coyly at scans.

Not sure if it’s the heat but he has barely stopped moving over the last couple of days, which is nice in some ways but also quite tiring. I nearly fainted in the kitchen yesterday – just because it’s hot and the oven was on. DH came to the rescue 🙂 Today my hands and feet feel swollen and tight and all I really want to do is lie in the cool and sleep; the chances of that happening are about as good as odds on pigs doing a fly-by passed the window!

Can’t remember when I last posted or in fact what I posted… so sorry if I repeat myself. I got signed off from my consultant last Tuesday as the pregnancy is all developing as it should. It’s only really in my head where the ‘problem’ lies. I still can’t shake off my feelings of deep guilt and sadness about the twins. There isn’t a day goes by where I don’t think about what we did and whether it was the right choice. There are now at least two ladies on Bounty who have announced triplet pregnancies (and of course, they are going ahead) and I can’t help myself but read their stories. A tiny bit of me wants to hear that things don’t work out which is pretty sick to admit, but if they are successful, it’s just another smack in my face, proving that it can be done, and relatively easily.

We got around to buying a cherry tree the other week, and the recent sunshine has seen it sprouting lots of greenery on an otherwise lifeless looking stick. Signs of spring with bittersweet undertones.

Decorating has been more off than on, but the carpenter and his dad came back today and finished hanging the doors and sorting out of the laminate floor edging (well, some of it). Also, the underfloor heating which we installed at least 3yrs ago, is finally connected to the electricity supply. On the hottest day of the year so far. There must be some irony in that. Our latest plan is to sell up asap, pay off our debts, hopefully keep a chunk of money for a deposit, then rent for 6mths-1yr locally. It doesn’t matter then if prices rise, fall or stay the same – we’ll still be in a better position than when we started out, despite not having the flat as an asset. Initially a little scary, but the more we talk it through, the more appealing it seems. Plus, we’re planning a 3wk holiday over Christmas and New Year, somewhere warm, with a kids club so we can escape the usual shenanigans, and be somewhere far away from the memories that will surely return as the anniversary of discovering the triplets approaches.

Enough for tonight, time to sleep.

 

20 weeks today – half way! Tuesday 4 March 2008

And boy has it taken forever to get here. Finally, I am at the halfway stage and hopefully out of the danger zone. Wriggler is living up to his name this week and I’m feeling movements throughout the day – it’s funny how they differ from those that my daughter made when she was inside. She used to wave her arms and legs around so I’d feel distinct prods, whereas Wriggler is more of a somersaulting type. It also feels like he’s really low down. It’s nice to be able to feel him in there though, can’t believe it’s been 8 wks since I could feel the three of them moving about.

Plans to move are coming along nicely. House viewings are being lined up for Saturday and we’re busy getting quotes for various diy bits that need doing here. Other plans afoot are to go for a home water birth if able. I’ve decided that I like the Made in Water ‘la Bassine’f and at just over £100 for the pool and accessories, it’s still way cheaper than hiring one. I really hope to give birth in the pool as well as using it during labour, it’s sort of symbolic for me in that I think of the twins being safe ‘in the blue’ (see a previous post) so to birth the wriggler into the blue completes the circle. Plus the benefits of water births are well known and combine nicely with hypnobirthing. Which is another thing I’ve been getting on to – arranging for more sessions. Looks like we’ll start either a refresher or a full course at around 30wks and I can’t wait! It was so relaxing.

Darling daughter continues to amuse and annoy in equal measures as is befitting a 2.5yr old. She’s back to not sleeping for more than a few hours at a time at night which is not great when combined with my indigestion/noro virus stomach ache thing which keeps me awake anyway. At 4am today I went in and the conversation went something like this:

DD: It’s dark. I can’t see anything, no toys.
Me: That’s because it’s night time. And night time is when we sleep.
DD: I can’t see *anything*. It’s night time. Dark.
Me: Yes darling. It’s night time and it’s dark. The sun comes out in the morning.
DD: Sunshine? Sunshine go pop morning. It’s breakfast timing!!
Me: Yes darling. Sunshine comes in the morning and then it’s breakfast time
DD: I have toast and cereal?
Me: Yes, in the morning. But it’s dark now because it’s night time. Night time is when we sleep. When you wake up it will be morning.
DD: And sunshine go pop – breakfast timing!!
Me: Yes. Ok, night night darling. Mama’s going back to bed to sleep.

Cue, crack of dawn at about 5.45am, loud knocking on her bedroom door “Daddeeeeee! Daddeeeee! Sunshine go pop, is morning. Breakfast timing!”

Aaaaaaaargh! And now we have a very sleepy grumpy little girl, a leaden eyed Mama and probably a sleep deprived Daddy (he’s at work). So much for my rational explanation – I should have guessed it would be taken literally 🙂 Next stop is for the Bunny Clock – we hear great things about it and it’s got to be worth a go surely. Broken sleep and v early mornings are bad for us all in this family.

 

One week on Thursday 17 January 2008

Filed under: morning sickness,movements,nausea,pregnant,scan,SPD,symptoms,thank you,tired — timeforanother @ 8:19 pm

And I’m still very up and down. I’m relieved our remaining baby seems to be doing fine but still incredibly sad that the twins are gone. It still feels like we’re missing something, but I guess this is all natural and we are still grieving for our loss. We bought a set of little white clothes in newborn size to try and mark the start of looking forward and they are so cute, but whilst nice enough, it didn’t quite make me smile the way it did when we first bought things for our daughter. Still, tiny steps and all that.

I’ve printed off the latest scan pics and bought some lovely thank you cards which will go to our mum’s, my sister and my best friend all of whom have been amazing the last few weeks.

On a physical level, the fluid loss has (fingers crossed) finally stopped, although I’m still waking several times in the night thinking it’s about to happen again. The aching and sharp pains have all but subsided now and turning over at night is much easier. Wriggler is not really being felt yet, although I’m certain I’ve felt a wriggle of sorts on occasion – maybe wishful thinking, but nice nonetheless. The nausea has disappeared completely and it’s only now that it’s gone I realise how bad it had been! That’s not something I’m missing 🙂 I’m still getting quite tired but not that awful ‘must close my eyes right now’ feeling. Pushing the pushchair around yesterday has left me with strange aches deep down in my groin and I’m struggling to stand straight quickly. I’m hoping it’s not the start of SPD – I swear it looks like this pregnancy is going to give me a run for my money. Serves me right for having such a wonderful first one 😉