And I’m still very up and down. I’m relieved our remaining baby seems to be doing fine but still incredibly sad that the twins are gone. It still feels like we’re missing something, but I guess this is all natural and we are still grieving for our loss. We bought a set of little white clothes in newborn size to try and mark the start of looking forward and they are so cute, but whilst nice enough, it didn’t quite make me smile the way it did when we first bought things for our daughter. Still, tiny steps and all that.
I’ve printed off the latest scan pics and bought some lovely thank you cards which will go to our mum’s, my sister and my best friend all of whom have been amazing the last few weeks.
On a physical level, the fluid loss has (fingers crossed) finally stopped, although I’m still waking several times in the night thinking it’s about to happen again. The aching and sharp pains have all but subsided now and turning over at night is much easier. Wriggler is not really being felt yet, although I’m certain I’ve felt a wriggle of sorts on occasion – maybe wishful thinking, but nice nonetheless. The nausea has disappeared completely and it’s only now that it’s gone I realise how bad it had been! That’s not something I’m missing 🙂 I’m still getting quite tired but not that awful ‘must close my eyes right now’ feeling. Pushing the pushchair around yesterday has left me with strange aches deep down in my groin and I’m struggling to stand straight quickly. I’m hoping it’s not the start of SPD – I swear it looks like this pregnancy is going to give me a run for my money. Serves me right for having such a wonderful first one 😉