Time for Another

the diary of our quest for baby number 2

Long time no write Wednesday 8 October 2008

Filed under: 2nd child,selling house,triplets — timeforanother @ 12:07 am

Funnily enough I’ve been pretty busy and have neglected to update this blog. Apologies for those who have been reading regularly. So, this will be a quick visit – I need to feed my little one and sleep.  We’ve so very nearly sold the flat, the buyers played fast and hard with our stress levels, but we’re hoping to exchange and complete by the end of the month when we move to a beautiful rented house, with a sweet little garden.

Our little boy continues to bring complete joy to us. He pretty much sleeps through already, feeding around midnight and waking again at 6am. Unfortunately he’s suffering from diarrhea (sp?) at the moment since having his first routine jabs. We’re waiting for results to come back to see if there is anything causing it. Thankfully he’s not dehydrated and seems very content aside from this unpleasantness.

I had my final counselling session a couple of weeks ago and feel pleased on one hand but sad on the other. Everything is still very fresh and raw and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t remember the twins. I talk often with their brother about them and what it means that we still have him. I know he’s too little to understand properly but there are times when he stares deep into my eyes and I really feel we have such a connection, and that he somehow gets what I’m on about. Possibly wishful thinking, but hey, what’s wrong with that?

Ok, I promise to get on here again in the next day or so to talk more. But for now, my little boy needs his milk.

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A rather delayed birth story!! Monday 4 August 2008

Firstly, thank you to those of you who have posted comments wondering whether our little boy had arrived yet. It still amazes me to think that people are interested in reading my blog – many thanks to you all!

As you may have guessed, I have had our little boy – he arrived on 16th July, a whole 6 days early, and he’s just perfect 😀  Here’s the story:

I woke up on Weds 16th July at 6am with tummy cramps, initially I thought I was dreaming then realised that no, they were in fact real. They felt different to the cramps I had been having so I thought I’d time them (whilst my husband snoozed beside me) – I timed them for a couple of hours until about 8am – they were coming every 15 minutes and were strong but not uncomfortable. DH woke up and I told him that he should probably stay at home from work. Then we set about thinking what we should do about our daughter. Unfortunately her nursery was full that day so we called up DH’s mum who very kindly agreed to come and fetch her. It’s a 2hr drive for her so we carried on calmly with the day – I showered and ate breakfast and loaded up http://www.contractionmaster.com on my laptop so I could keep track of what was happening. We then phoned the labour ward to let them know that things were underway, and they said to phone back when the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart or if my waters broke.

So, around lunchtime, some builders turned up to assess a problem with the brickwork, then MIL arrived to fetch our daughter, followed by the internet grocery shopping I’d ordered the day before!! All rather hectic and it sent the contractions a bit haywire – they felt a little less intense and came on and off. Once everyone had gone and it was just me and DH, we were able to relax and I got my rhythm back again. They were coming every 6-7 minutes and starting to increase in intensity and length. We laid back on the sofa and watched The Incredibles (well, I did, my DH snored all the way through!!).

At around 5pm we decided to set up the birthing pool and I lit my aromatherapy candle so the bedroom became a virtual spa 🙂 I moved into the bedroom as the lights were a bit less harsh and the mood was set. Whilst DH sorted out the pool, I lay on the bed and breathed through each contraction, feeling calm and a little excited that this was really it. By 7pm we decided to time things for an hour before calling the labour ward again. At this point contractions were coming approx every 4 minutes and lasting from 40 seconds – over a minute. I sat on the birthing ball and rocked side to side which made things feel much easier and DH gave me lovely soft-touch massage on my back, whilst we played the hypnobirthing cd to really really relax. At 8pm ish we called the labour ward again to tell them that we were at a steady 4mins apart with each one lasting an average of 1minute – they were handing over from day to night shift so got a midwife to call me back at around 8.30pm. She agreed to come out and assess me, bringing a student mw with her. In the meantime I decided it was time to put on the TENS machine…

Only to discover it was malfunctioning – the ‘boost’ button which you press when having a contraction didn’t work, and the machine randomly flicked from regular to ‘burst’ mode without any intervention. This was entertaining for a short while but ultimately useless for the job intended. Thankfully a friend had offered us the use of their machine so a quick phone call later, they dropped it off then about 5 minutes later the mw turned up.

They watched me for a little while and asked some questions then took my temperature, blood pressure (weirdly lower than for almost the entire pregnancy!!) and baby’s heartbeat. Then they did the internal to see how dilated (if at all) I was. The mw went first whilst the student waited in the other room – the mw whispered in my ear that I was 6cm!! This was so unbelievably good to hear – I’d only got to 5cm after 2.5days of labouring with my dd, I could have cried with happiness. The student then did her examination and they discussed how they could feel the membranes bulging as our baby’s head was pressing right down. I think they were quite surprised how far along I was because the hypno techniques meant I was incredibly calm – chatting in between  contractions and really just letting my body do its thing. The mw then said they would leave us to continue whilst they sat in the living room, and that they would come and check on my progress, and listen in to baby’s hb every 15 minutes (obviously if we wanted them before we could just call out). Anyway, I phoned my mum to let her know how things were progressing (about 9.55pm) and had 3 huge contractions whilst on the phone. I had one check then the contractions were coming thick and fast. They didn’t hurt but were starting to be quite overwhelming – I got DH to check when it was ok for me to get in the pool and was told whenever I wanted. So, DH took off the TENs machine whilst I had 2 massive contractions bending over the bed. I clambered into the pool, knelt down and despite being told that the water would probably slow the contractions a little, I almost immediately felt the need to push (well actually I thought I was going to do a big poo!) the mws came running in and reassured me that there was nothing to be scared about, that my little boy was coming! They got me to feel his head which was amazing, then a big push (unprompted and not forced) the waters popped and I delivered his head, a couple of minutes later and the rest of him followed. I brought him to the surface and I will never ever forget the sight of that perfect little face looking up at me. He was tiny but perfect. My DH says I looked euphoric and that’s pretty much how I felt. 10.37pm, our beautiful boy was born weighing 6lb 8oz.

I got out of the pool and waited for the 3rd stage (delivery of the placenta) which happened about an hour after the birth without any interventions. I’d done it. I had my home waterbirth with no drugs (not even gas & air), no forced pushing or being told what to do. My body did it all and I remained calm throughout. No pain, no shouting, no swearing – a little ‘lowing’ (as in ‘the cattle are lowing’) – it was exactly as my birth plan.

The 2nd mw arrived after the birth and missed all the action! So he made tea for everyone instead. Once they’d done all their paperwork and checks, we were finally left to ourselves at around 1am. I had a quick shower, and we put some clean sheets on the bed then we snuggled up on the sofa, DH with a glass of wine, me with some squash and of course our beautiful little boy. It was amazing to be able to relax and enjoy this special time – so different to the birth of my dd where my DH was sent home at 4am and I was transferred to a ward with 3 other women & their newborns, left on my dirty sheet, unable to sit up (because of the epidural) and unable to sleep. 

So, all my worries and fears about bonding with my darling son were put to rest. I had a tear or two just after the birth and whispered to him how sorry I was about his siblings. I have cried for them since but I am so in love with our little boy – the moment I saw that face coming out of the water I couldn’t help but feel that way and I’m so happy.

Nearly 3wks on and I’m still feeling great about it all. He’s a complete poppet; sleeping and eating well, barely crying. His big sister is totally enchanted with him and gives him kisses all the time which is so sweet and lovely – I’m a very lucky mama 🙂  I’ve had some physical problems since the birth – including an infection in my uterus so am dosed up on antibiotics and anti-infection medication, but mentally things are just dandy. Again, the difference between this and how I felt after my dd is astonishing. I’ve cried over that – I feel so bad that I didn’t feel the way I do now, about her when she was born. But, I can’t change the past and I know how much I love her now (and did then, the mask of PND just hid it from me).

The placenta sits rather unceremoniously in our freezer until we can plant the cherry tree somewhere suitable, then the twins will have their special place. Although, they already have a special place within me and my ds (rather gruesome a thought for some I’m sure, but very comforting to me).

And there we are – a family of four, mama, daddy, dd and ds. And the cat! What a journey we’ve been on these last 9-10mths. I’ll continue with this blog but probably not as frequently. I hope one day my children will read it if they would like to.

 

Good news but feeling blue Tuesday 15 July 2008

Filed under: 2nd child,39wks,blue,bump,down,false alarms,pregnant,selling house,sleeping,tired,toddler — timeforanother @ 11:00 am

We accepted a cash offer on the flat yesterday – a bit lower than we really wanted but DH has got the fear about it all and just wants it to go through quickly and painlessly, which a cash sale will almost guarantee. I feel fairly ambivalent about it – wishing I had the energy to play a bit more hardball with it. The offer did come a lot quicker than we imagined, it’s not been on the market a week yet! Still, she’s got herself a beautiful flat for a bargain price, and we get to clear our debts and find a rented house to move into for phase 2 of family life.

Talking of which, still nothing going on with Wriggler. I’m starting to believe I’m going to be pregnant forever, or at least he’ll hold on til the last possible minute (which is 3 wks today). Getting really fed up now – my back is really playing up which makes moving around incredibly painful and awkward – more so than normal. My hands and feet are constantly swollen and tight; sleeping is a nightmare, what with needing to pee every few minutes, raging heartburn and of course, the incredibly annoying tummy pains which seem exciting then just fade to nothing… It doesn’t help matters that a lot of my Due in July Bounty buddies are dropping babies left, right and centre. I feel ready to meet my little boy now (and if he stays much longer, my skin is going to literally come apart)

So the blues are here today. I should be feeling happy about the sale but can’t muster any real enthusiasm – there is a pile of paperwork to complete and numerous phone calls to make which I just can’t face. Baby is sitting tight and I really want to focus on him and get on with labouring, but I seem to be stuck between the two things and neither is going to move along without some input from me. Poor old DH is trying to get a ton of work sorted in case he gets ‘the call’ from me so he is less inclined to do house sale stuff and it seems unfair of me to ask him to quite frankly – I’m just sitting around at home waiting (and looking after our dd). Today, I will drop into the managing agents office and try to get some answers from them about house stuff, fetch dd from nursery, eat lunch with dd, then whilst she naps, I’ll order some shopping online.

And try to feel cheerful!

 

It’s a … Thursday 7 February 2008

Filed under: 2nd child,cherry tree,consultant,midwife,MIL,names,scan,trying for a boy — timeforanother @ 1:46 pm

I had a scan on Monday with our wonderful consultant and all is fine with the wriggler. The twins are looking so tiny in comparison, gradually being pushed to the side of my womb. I asked about their placenta and if it was going to cause any problems for the birth, but it’s too early to tell. It’s not like a regular low-lying placenta either because it’s not actually functioning any more, so who knows. I really hope it’s not going to get in the way, we’d still dearly love a homebirth, or at least a waterbirth at the hospital – really keen to avoid a c-section unless absolutely essential.

He didn’t take any measurements so I’m not sure what the CTR length is but it definitely looked bigger than 2 wks ago. I tentatively asked if it was too early to tell what sex it is and he moved the scan thing a little bit to get a view between the legs – “it looks male to me” I waited for the but… but it never came. He then showed me the legs and pointed out the inner thighs and there was definitely ‘something’ inbetween! When I got home, I notice he’s actually put the male symbol on my notes so I’m pretty certain we’re having a boy, although I’ll be having a very good look at the 21wk scan to see if I can see for myself. Lots of people have said their babies were really obviously boys, whereas I would never have known what we were looking at if he hadn’t pointed it out – the view was not a particularly clear one (to me anyway). Still, I trust him – he’s been an obstetrician for 20yrs 🙂 I’m pleased and nervous – I come from a big female family and don’t really know much about little boys – oh well, I’m about to learn I guess! My husband, mum and MIL are all over the moon about it which is fantastic, especially after all the ups and downs we’ve had.

Still no news from the counsellor about when we might start with her which is a little disappointing, I feel like we’re over the worst and it was hard managing that on our own – we could really have done with the professional help during that time. But I also know that I’m far from coming to terms with the reduction. I still cry most days about them and the horrible situation we found ourselves in. It’s just that I tend to cry a little and privately on my own now. I think we’ve decided to go with a flowering cherry tree to remember the twins by – not only are they really pretty, but cherries come in pairs which is kind of nice and symbolic.

Back to see the consultant in 3wks (it’ll be a different one as mine is on holiday), local mw on Tuesday (first time since booking in at 8wks!), then 21wk scan on 14th March. Still not sure if we’re going to finish having consultant care or not at that point, I’m hoping it will continue throughout the whole pg now, but obviously if it’s not necessary I’ll understand.

Now we have to decide on boy names – girl names are so much easier. I think we already have the middle name sorted, so I’d best go and dig out my baby name books again 🙂

 

Breathing a sigh of relief Tuesday 15 January 2008

Filed under: 2nd child,bleeding,hospital,midwife,scan — timeforanother @ 12:57 pm

After a fretful weekend where the fluid loss continued with the browny coloured blood, we tried calling our local hospital and King’s to no avail. Our local hospital were very sweet but explained that because they don’t do the procedure or see the after results very often, they couldn’t advise if the fluid loss was normal. The number we had for King’s rang out – presumably it’s an office hours number.

I called King’s yesterday afternoon – I’d been putting it off in case I heard the worst, but a nice midwife told me it was hard to say what was normal, the best thing to do was to arrange a scan at our local hospital to check the fluid wasn’t coming from our remaining baby’s sac. K the amazing midwife arranged an appt for me for 10am today so it was just one night to get through. I’ve started to not want to go to bed and sleep as it’s usually in the middle of the night that the fluid loss happens.

So a tiny loss in the middle of the night, followed by hours of inability to sleep again. Shaking like a leaf and feeling sick, we get to the hospital and wait for 5 minutes. The sonographers are so lovely as we explain what we can. Almost immediately they find our baby and its heart is beating, arms and legs waving, bouncing around just like our dd did. Plenty of fluid around it and it’s grown another cm since Thurs. It looks like the fluid loss is from the other two – there is minimal liquid surrounding them now, and their placenta is quite close to my cervix which may explain the brown bleeding. It may also cause problems with delivery if it remains there, but it’s early days and may move or disappear in the coming months. At this point that’s the least of our worries. We hope to have a homebirth, but honestly if they have to cut my legs off to get this baby out, I wouldn’t care.

We are still seeing the consultant on Monday where he’ll scan again to make sure he’s happy with how things are progressing, and then we’ll discuss how to proceed with antenatal care. I still can’t quite get over how amazingly supportive they have been to us. We also have our 21wk scan booked for 14th March. So strange to think that will be our 6th scan when usually it would be our 2nd.

We have 4 beautiful pictures of our bouncing bean – the profile is so like our daughter – the exact same nose. I had been thinking it’s a girl but today I’m not so sure. Again, I don’t give a monkeys – funny how when I started writing this blog, it was partially to document whether we could actively try for a boy. How things change.

 

Hoo-fucking-ray!! I’m pregnant! Tuesday 13 November 2007

After an uppy-downy kind of November where I had no pregnancy symptoms, a horrible throat/cough thing (still ongoing), a bad back and a very crotchety toddler daughter, all things pointed to another bfn. So, when my period didn’t show up yesterday – with none of my usual tell-tale signs – I thought maybe I’ve miscalculated, and it was due today… so I held off testing until this morning.

After a complete faff with the test (I’m not at my best in the mornings), it looked like I’d got myself a duff one as no lines at all came up. I tried to squeeze a few more drops out into a pot – oh the glamour!! – and nearly dropped it in the bath 😀 Anyway, after all the fumbling around, I took another look at the test, and two incredibly faint pink lines were appearing. They’ve got stronger and stronger and are now the positive one is thicker and darker than the test one… So, I’m pretty certain that counts as a positive result. My god, I’m pregnant!!

It’s funny how since deciding to go for number 2, it still feels quite strange when you see the positive test for real. Not nearly as scary as the first time mind you, but strange how yesterday it was a possiblility and today it’s real.

Now to start the merry-go-round of appointments, scans and myriad worries that all pregancies bring. If all goes well, we’re due our 2nd bundle of joy somewhere around 22nd July 2008. Whether we’ve made a boy or not is way down the list right now, having made the starts of a baby is plenty good enough for us 🙂

 

Still thinking ahead Friday 21 September 2007

Filed under: 2nd child,testing,things to do,worries — timeforanother @ 11:15 am

And even got my husband doing it too! NCT classes, hypnobirthing, maternity wear, unguents, swimming, sleeping, you name it, we’ve discussed (and continue to discuss) it. It’s so great that we’re both really excited about this, as usual I have my paranoid moments of thinking he’s just going along with it to keep me happy. But I truly believe that isn’t the case and we are both looking forward to being parents again.

OPK use starts on 25th, counting down.  Can’t wait to see those two pink lines agan!