Time for Another

the diary of our quest for baby number 2

23 weeks + 2 days Thursday 27 March 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — timeforanother @ 1:10 pm

And all is well. Emotionally things are looking up, although I’m aware of how quickly this can change and for no apparent reason. The swimming last week helped a little, a lot of memories came flooding back as the last time I was at that pool, was the morning of the reduction. It was weird being back there but only with one baby, not the triplets. But, tiring as the actual swimming was, I actually felt full of energy when I got home and managed to do loads of housework and more importantly lots of playing with dd.

It was another consultant appt on Tues this week but my regular obstetrician was busy so I saw another doctor. He was very friendly but I did get the impression that he didn’t quite understand why I was there. Oh well. He gave us a quickish scan and all the measurements are looking bang on target for the dates – according to the charts, Wriggler weighs around 1lb 3oz which I find fascinating.

We’re still struggling to find a name for this little fellow – nothing is quite right somehow, but then again, we had the same thing with our dd and it was only near the end of the pg when we came across her name. We’re hoping the same will happen this time.

Other non pg news. Our cat went to the vets this week and had 9 teeth removed. Poor thing has a genetic disposition for manky rotten teeth apparently so they had to come out. Thankfully she’s fully recovered and is eating without any problems. She hates not being able to go outside so after 2 days of enforced houseboundness, I gave in to the pitiful wowing and headbutting of the catflap, and let her out. She darted out and was back 10mins later looking much more content. Bless!

The decorating has begun, finally! DDs room is first to get a freshen up and already it’s looking great. I spent yesterday boxing up old toys and baby things so they can go off to our storage unit – the great selling/moving project is underway after much discussion and list making. Feels good 🙂 Although the rest of the flat looks a complete pigsty with stuff everywhere! Where does it all come from?

And so back to the pg – I have my last counselling session today and it feels about right. It hasn’t really told me anything I didn’t already know but it’s been good to discuss my thoughts with someone who doesn’t judge. Today I feel like our experience and in particular my experience is something which I just have to learn to live with. It’s a part of my life whether I like it or not and the associated feelings are what makes me me. There are going to be things which trigger sadness and things which will fade into the background. I will always be a mama to a beautiful little girl and our triplets. Our son will learn about his twin siblings when the time is right and I know I love them as much now as I would have done had they stayed with us.

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Scan update Saturday 15 March 2008

Filed under: 21wks,3D scan,4D scan,depressed,down,potty training,scan,size,worries — timeforanother @ 3:37 pm

We went for the 21wk anomaly scan yesterday morning and after a couple of very low days, I really wasn’t looking forward to it, despite what I said in my last post. Most of my ‘big’ scans have been traumatic experiences this time so I felt unable to get excited about this one, in fact I was scared that we would be told bad news and find ourselves in the world of pain all over again.

Thank goodness all was well, apart from wriggler not wanting to wake up and move position, despite a half hour break and the wolfing down of chocolate and slurping of cold diet coke combined with a quick march around the hospital grounds, swinging my hips. I must have looked a very funny sight! But our boy wasn’t moving for anyone (takes after his dad 🙂 ) and the sonographer only just got to see the profile that she needed. Needless to say, the photos are rubbish. Mostly of the back of his head. Fingers crossed we’ll get some better ones at the next consultant scan.

The measurements all look good – well within the ranges for my dates.
Femur length: 36mm
Head circumference: 196mm
Abdominal circumference: 165mm
It’s most definitely a boy – she pointed out the ‘bits’ although because of the funny angle I was at, I couldn’t really tell what I was looking at. DH (darling husband) reckoned it was very obvious though!

Funnily enough, both me and DH seperately started to think about having a 3D/4D scan. I’ve always been a little bit spooked by these, and couldn’t really see the point in one of the DVDs of baby. However, both of us are wondering if it will help with the bonding. We’re not really that fussed about the DVD angle, but the opportunity to sit and watch wriggler in action (or sleeping knowing our luck) and come away with a couple of pictures. Once we realised that we’d both been thinking about it, I did some research and found a company in London which seems reasonably priced and don’t do ‘packages’ but let you decide on the day (depending on how baby has ‘behaved’) what you want to take away ie DVD and/or photos or I guess, nothing at all. Anyway, they recommend going between 24-32 wks so I’m looking at going around about 26wks which is mid April.

Had a good counselling session on Thursday. Quite a lot more is coming out now and whilst I still feel stuck and don’t know how I’m going to move forward, I feel like I’m being understood. I’m going to try and go swimming (sans toddler) at least once a week – probably Monday and Friday mornings in the hope that it will at least free my mind for half an hour or so. I guess the physical activity won’t hurt either and i’m aware of the benefit that exercise has on depression.

Ok, must go and do some parenting. DH is away this weekend so I’m entertaining dd solo (not that much different from the week). We were going to attempt potty training but dd has a cold and that comes with the associated runny bottom, plus major upset at the mere idea of wearing pants today was enough for me to delay until next weekend instead.

 

21 +1 Wednesday 12 March 2008

Filed under: 21wks,bounty,bump,halfway,heartburn,indigestion,movements,noro virus,toddler,trolling — timeforanother @ 12:16 pm

Anomaly scan on Friday 11.20am which I’m looking forward to. Wriggler continues to wriggle throughout the day and has even been visible from the outside! My husband has been able to feel wriggles and kicks too which is so nice. My bump is extremely pronounced – I was asked yesterday just how many cushions I had tucked up my t-shirt!! But another colleague declared it to be a neat bump which is a good thing. I’ll dig out the tape measure in a minute and see how big it really is – certainly there’s no doubting I’m pregnant. I can’t help but wonder how huge I’d be if we still had the triplets, or even the twins… probably about to split I should think. I’m still slathering on the body butter and oils in the hope of minimising stretch marks and touch wood, it’s working so far… My daughter likes to help rub in the cream after my shower, and delights in the fact that ‘baby likes it’.

Sad news on the Bounty web forum. A girl from Due In July who I’ve chatted to a couple of times via the boards was expecting twins and had concerns about having them early as she’d delivered her son last year at 23wks. Well, lo and behold, she says she had the babies at 23.+3 days weighing 1lb and the other 1lb 2oz – one is on a ventilator and one is on CPAC? I’m not sure what that means but we were all pleased that her babies seemed to be fighters and that the doctors ‘intervened’ (often they don’t until 24wks minimum). However a few days later, threads started to appear suggesting this girl is a serial liar and has been banned from several other parenting boards for telling lies. Apparently she doesn’t have any children, prem or otherwise, plays hockey and goes by three different surnames. Whether this is true or not, it’s left me feeling really unsettled – if she’s genuine, then how distressing to hear all the horrible bitchy comments that have come up. On the other hand, if she is making it all up, it’s really not funny, in fact it would suggest to me that she needs psychiatric help. I don’t know what to believe and wish I could shake off the uncomfortable feeling it’s left me with.

Bump update – measuring 103cm today!! That’s over a metre 😀

Oh, and the indigestion/heartburn or virus or whatever it was appears to have gone. Hurray!

 

20 weeks today – half way! Tuesday 4 March 2008

And boy has it taken forever to get here. Finally, I am at the halfway stage and hopefully out of the danger zone. Wriggler is living up to his name this week and I’m feeling movements throughout the day – it’s funny how they differ from those that my daughter made when she was inside. She used to wave her arms and legs around so I’d feel distinct prods, whereas Wriggler is more of a somersaulting type. It also feels like he’s really low down. It’s nice to be able to feel him in there though, can’t believe it’s been 8 wks since I could feel the three of them moving about.

Plans to move are coming along nicely. House viewings are being lined up for Saturday and we’re busy getting quotes for various diy bits that need doing here. Other plans afoot are to go for a home water birth if able. I’ve decided that I like the Made in Water ‘la Bassine’f and at just over £100 for the pool and accessories, it’s still way cheaper than hiring one. I really hope to give birth in the pool as well as using it during labour, it’s sort of symbolic for me in that I think of the twins being safe ‘in the blue’ (see a previous post) so to birth the wriggler into the blue completes the circle. Plus the benefits of water births are well known and combine nicely with hypnobirthing. Which is another thing I’ve been getting on to – arranging for more sessions. Looks like we’ll start either a refresher or a full course at around 30wks and I can’t wait! It was so relaxing.

Darling daughter continues to amuse and annoy in equal measures as is befitting a 2.5yr old. She’s back to not sleeping for more than a few hours at a time at night which is not great when combined with my indigestion/noro virus stomach ache thing which keeps me awake anyway. At 4am today I went in and the conversation went something like this:

DD: It’s dark. I can’t see anything, no toys.
Me: That’s because it’s night time. And night time is when we sleep.
DD: I can’t see *anything*. It’s night time. Dark.
Me: Yes darling. It’s night time and it’s dark. The sun comes out in the morning.
DD: Sunshine? Sunshine go pop morning. It’s breakfast timing!!
Me: Yes darling. Sunshine comes in the morning and then it’s breakfast time
DD: I have toast and cereal?
Me: Yes, in the morning. But it’s dark now because it’s night time. Night time is when we sleep. When you wake up it will be morning.
DD: And sunshine go pop – breakfast timing!!
Me: Yes. Ok, night night darling. Mama’s going back to bed to sleep.

Cue, crack of dawn at about 5.45am, loud knocking on her bedroom door “Daddeeeeee! Daddeeeee! Sunshine go pop, is morning. Breakfast timing!”

Aaaaaaaargh! And now we have a very sleepy grumpy little girl, a leaden eyed Mama and probably a sleep deprived Daddy (he’s at work). So much for my rational explanation – I should have guessed it would be taken literally 🙂 Next stop is for the Bunny Clock – we hear great things about it and it’s got to be worth a go surely. Broken sleep and v early mornings are bad for us all in this family.